Mirror

Through the walls

And past the mirrors

Stands a girl Who is strong

With her eyes filled with fire

Her soul is weak

But you would never know.

Detailed with passion

A definition of her heart

Words filled with regret

Her dream to write.

Pieces of no meaning

Nothing they could understand

How do I explain

Write of happiness

When all my stories are sad.

So hard to tell

My expression

My speech stuttering

My hands shaky

My heart beating fast

Loosing sleep from stress.

I want to give it up

Let go of the never existed

Step up to the plate

But how do you know me.

When you can not get me

When you don’t know me

When you cant figure me out.

Battling her everyday

Beat her down

Tell the girl in the mirror

To never give up

Reassure her it will be ok

So many burdens.

With makeup running down her face

I tell her

Tomorrow is another day

Tomorrow will be better

Tomorrow I can start over. Like all the other days

Tunnel

I let anyone in my heart and then
begin to die a little that day
to the sweetness of a kind
voice capturing my tiny tears.
For me love comes faster than
it goes, but go it will and I
will be left with the sense that
all the bad is my fault.
Men have a way with making
it seem as if the simple
art of being a women is
enough to turn heart to stone.
And, women have a strange way
of making everything we say
into a gigantic cycle of needless
arguments and walking away.
We make excuses for
why it is okay to treat
each other as if emotions
and pain do not exist.
To rip into a person as
if we can just walk away
and then act as if nothing
at all harmful has occurred.
I could question the mind set
in which we derive this sense
of being able to walk in
circles of profound lack of care.
What would the point of all this
be, sitting and finding the answer
is: I let you in and slowly begin
to die a little that day, until no more.
Light follows the Darkest of nights

Cat 2005

Choices I Made

I think about the choices I have made along the way
The good, the bad, and the ones that seemed to work out okay
Some made with my heart and some made with my head
Some made in the heat and some made with a sense of dread
Of all the choices I have made
None can come close to the ones that brought you all here
The ones that ended up with the births of your beautiful faces
The ones that ended up with my life changed forever
Everyday I look at all of you
And wonder in amazement
To watch you all blossom and grow
Becoming your own persons with a sense of wonder in your eyes
I’m so hopeful for your futures
So anxious to see who you all become
So excited that we’re a family
So proud to know we are all one
Never forget for a second
How much you all are loved
How happy you have made me
How you were all chosen
Like a deck of cards you must learn to deal with life as it is dealt
You must hold your chin up and walk tall
Let no one ever force you to be shorter than you really are
Stand tall, Stand strong, and your strength will guide you
If I could I would remove all your fears
If I could I would remove all your tears
If I could I would make life painless
If I could I would give you all your courage
I will always be by your side even if you can’t see me
I will always be in your heart even if you can’t feel me
Listen in the wind and you will hear my whispers and feel my hand
Stand tall, Stand strong, and your strength will guide you

Believe in your self always❤️

My life like a willow tree

Branches growing every which way

Endless branches forever spreading

Yet there are no roots

No roots to ground me

Hold me deep into the earth

Twisted and sad she stands alone 

Pieces of branches fall beneath 

Unseen by any

Like lonely tears falling silent

Thick leaves hide all that is beneath

Standing tall against winds and storms 

And as life strips away the leaves

It leaves her vulnerably to the world

Naked and without cover

She braves against it all

Yet the song of one bird is heard amongst her branches

A song that fills her lonely soul

Awakening her from her slumber

It calls to her from the edges

Come to me

Come to me

Warm breezes flow through her branches

A hope of life yet to return

But she reaches out to grasp

Alas her roots are still gone

No where to find a solid ground

She must ignore the song bird

Who sings to her soul

And return to stand alone
Cat 14/01/2013

You❤

Inside lies a beauty unseen

Only you can see it

There is an endless love

Locked away inside

Can you free it

Words that touch

Thoughts that flow

Feelings pushed aside

Something waits on the other side

Pushing and pulling my soul

Can you feel it

It flows over me like a wave

A sweet rush

Warm and content

Words that speak

Oh so much

It makes me smile

Can you see it

Time has no place for us

It seems like it always been

An unseen touch

I know you are there

In this moment

We stand in this time

Waiting for that feeling

That kiss is a moment

That will stand forever

For time is on our side

This ache will subside

When I am in your arms

Until then

I wait for that feeling

Can you
Cat 2017

Can You?

It doesn’t interest me what you do for a living.

I want to know what you ache for,

And if you dare to dream of meeting 

Your heart’s longing.
It doesn’t interest me how old you are.

I want to know if you will risk looking like a fool

For love, for your dream, 

For the adventure of being alive.
It doesn’t interest me what planets are squaring your moon.

I want to know if you have touched the center of your own sorrow,

If you have been opened by life’s betrayals,

Or have become shriveled and closed from fear of further pain.
I want to know if you can sit with pain, 

Mine or your own,

Without moving 

To hide it or fade it or fix it.
I want to know if you can be with joy, 

Mine or your own,

If you can dance with wildness 

and let the ecstasy fill you to the tips of your fingers and toes 

Without cautioning us to be careful, be realistic, 

or to remember the limitations of being human.
It doesn’t interest me if the story you are telling me is true.

I want to know if you can disappoint another to be true to yourself,

If you can bear the accusation of betrayal and not betray your own soul. 

I want to know if you can be faithless and therefore be trustworthy.
I want to know if you can see beauty 

Even when it is not pretty every day,

And if you can source your life 

From its presence.
I want to know if you can live with failure, 

Yours and mine,

And still stand on the edge of a lake and shout to the silver of the full moon, 

“Yes!”
It doesn’t interest me to know where you live or how much money you have.

I want to know if you can get up after the night of grief and despair,

Weary and bruised to the bone, 

And do what needs to be done for the children.
It doesn’t interest me who you are, how you came to be here.

I want to know if you will stand 

In the center of the fire with me 

And not shrink back.
It doesn’t interest me where or what or with whom you have studied.

I want to know what sustains you 

From the inside 

When all else falls away.
I want to know if you can be alone 

With yourself,

And if you truly like the company you keep 

In the empty moments.

Waiting for You

Waiting for you
It’s hard to describe, the way you make my stomach turn upside down

You lift me up into the sky, right on top of that brightest cloud

The things you say make me feel like your queen, even without the crown.
With you in my team, nothing seems like a problem, nothing is to hard to deal

When I’m in pain, you seem the only one to understand, and to heal

Maybe that’s why you attract me, maybe that’s why you make me feel the way I feel.
Doubts and questions are messing with my mind, I was afraid didn’t know what to do

Should I listen to my heart or to my mind, I didn’t know what path I had to choose

I knew what’s wrong and what’s right, I realized I needed something fresh and new

The chance to experience something so pure and real, I just could not let that loose.
I just can’t wait for the day we meet, I’m like a little kid crying for some ice-cream

I know for sure, things will work out fine, because you & me together sounds divine

It doesn’t matter how long I’ll wait or what I have got to do, to realize this dream

Time is ticking, days are flying by, but I’ve got the will to wait till you’ll be mine.

Late at Nite

Late at night when all the world is sleeping I stay up and think f you.And I wish on a star that somewhere you are thinking of me too.
Cause I’m dreaming of you tonight, till tomorrow I’ll be holding you tight.

And there’s nowhere in the world I’d rahter be,

then here in my room dreaming about you and me.
Wonder if you ever see and I wonder if you know I’m there.

If you looked in my eyes would you see whats in side? Would you even care?
I just wanna hold you close that so far all I have are dreams of you.

So I wait for the day, and the courage to say

how much I love you…Yes I do.
I can’t stop dreaming of you
Late at night when all the world is sleeping I stay up and think of you. And I still can’t wait for that day when you come up to me and said ” I love you” I love you too baby
Now I’m dreaming with you tonight till tomorrow and FOR ALL OF MY LIFE. I’ll be dreaming of you endlessly.